Caesar X Reader: Babies

Sitting silently in the lab, you stretched your arms out across the back of the couch, sitting across from Caesar, him being on the other couch deeply absorbed in a thick as hell book written by himself. His science log, of course. He was probably looking for something he’d done before, or planning on adding more to it. It could be either, but the modern quill and ink jar at the side of the book implied your second guess.

You had your feet up on the table, but not close enough to be in his way as he flipped through the slightly worn pages, scanning them with his piercing amber orbs. Occasionally, the sound of his gas cloak would go up in pitch, and its movements would be more violent if he came across something that was incorrect, or he messed up writing something. The scowl on his face at the time of the sound was matching proof of his agitation.

So concentrated, so… quiet. Nice to know he could shut up for once instead of letting out his creep-tastic laugh all over the place. It was nice. It gave him a good look. Even so, silence still wasn’t always your thing, and you really wanted to interrupt him, piss him off a bit and have some fun. But there was nothing you could think of to do so. You wouldn’t dare kick his hand or book with your feet. That was a death sentence. You wanted to live to tell the tale afterwards.

You thought through the silence and scratching of the quill, trying to find something to do. You drew a complete blank, until you heard a grumble in your stomach and a movement downwards. You grinned. This was the worst joke ever, and you’ve cracked it before, but not as badly as you were going to now. It was gross, you would admit, but it couldn’t be helped. You wondered how far you would take it. Taking your feet off the table carefully, you just thought to yourself, it’ll go as far as your wandering mind provokes you.

“Oi Caesar!” You called, sitting innocently with unblinking eyes as you stared at him.

The scratching of the quill halted suddenly followed by the tap of it slowly being put down. He was tense about his disruption, but not so much as to kill you, as he had finished the main subject.

“What do you need?” He sighed, showing slight signs of annoyance.

“Well, you know since you’re gas and stuff… I was wondering… do you produce… asexually~?” You giggled, letting that feeling in your gut out.

Yes, that’s exactly what you did. Intentionally, and grossly, you let rip a lovely squeaker, the hint of an awful scent filling the area quickly.

“For fuck sakes _______!” Caesar cringed, leaning away from you on his couch. “You’re disgusting!”

You just laughed out loud heartily. “Whaaaat~? You’re a walking one of what I just let out!”

Caesar just scowled in disgust at you, unamused by your statement and manners.

“Oh god, I bet you every time I fart, it’s like I’m giving birth! Hah!” You choked with a stupid grin. “I’m having baby Caesars~!”

While you laughed on, Caesar gave you a disgusted look at your remark. Though it didn’t take long for him to get sick of your shit. Taking the cap to his in jar, he secured it on and closed his book in an almost dignified manner. Then, with one breath, he spoke to you with the most straight face ever.

“_______, if you’re going to shit yourself all day, thinking you’re making my babies, then why don’t I show you how REAL babies are made.” He purred, the implication clear in sight as his disappointed expression was replaced with a smirk.

You stopped laughing and stared at him. “Wait, what?”

Without even moving Caesar already had himself launched over the table and on top of you.

“Would you like to see how children really are made, you little shit?”

Your face was instantly covered in a heavy blush at this remark, your smirk seemingly being replaced on his face instead. You couldn’t find words to process what was about to happen, and before you could, he took your silence as an advantage and grabbed you, hauling you with him into one of his ‘special’ rooms.

“Caesar! W-what are you-!”

As you tried to protest, flailing your blushing self in his arms, you were cut off by him roughly pressing his lips against yours, silencing you as he kept moving forward.

Oh boy, you were in for it now. Guess you shouldn’t have mentioned ‘babies’ in your joke. Or should you have?